February 28, 2015

An open letter to my daughter's father

We go back a long way, H. We've had some great times, a lot of great times actually, and we've had our fair share of rough times. We've both said and done things we'd never want our sweet girl to know about. I've made mistakes. You've made mistakes. We've regrettably both acted in ways that have negatively impacted our daughter. 
That is, luckily, in the past now though, and this letter isn't a reminder of that. This letter serves as a thank you for the present and a promise for the future. 
So thank you. Sincerely.
Thank you first and foremost for creating her, in love, with me. If you weren't her daddy, she wouldn't be the sweet girl we're blessed with calling our daughter. 
Thank you for wiping her butt. Thank you for tucking her into bed. Thank you for singing and dancing. Thank you for reading and playing. Thank you making her your princess, always. 
& I promise. Genuinely.
I promise to never speak ill of you to her, or in front of her. 
I promise to make sure my family and friends do the same. 
I promise I will always be your coparent, and never your baby mama. 
I promise to, gracefully, accept that fact that one day, you will give her a stepmother. I promise that I will try to trust your judgement on the woman you pick for that role. & I promise that I will help Everleigh to love the new lady in your life, by loving her myself first. 
I promise that you will always be her daddy, and I promise that when I choose the man for me, I will do so with her wellbeing in mind.
I promise to call you for backup when she isn't listening, and I promise to use your name as a threat when she isn't behaving. 
I promise to have your back when she doesn't like your answer, and comes to me for a different one. 
I promise that I will try to let you have your turn as the cool parent.. Eventually.
promise that I will teach her to act like a lady, and I promise to let you attempt to teach her to play sports. 
I promise to buy her dresses and sparky sandals, and I promise to let you buy her basketball shorts and matching J's.
Most importantly of all though, I promise to model love and respect for you as my daughter's father, so that she will know how to love and respect you as well. 
Gratefully yours, 

February 21, 2015

Arms wide open

There are a million ways to love a person. 
A million more to be a friend. 
People do it with grand gestures and expensive gifts. With eloquent words and acts of affection. 

My favorite way of loving and being loved though, is showing up. 

Showing up means last minute lunch dates with words of encouragement. Showing up means dinner dates with laughter and tears. It means driving an hour for grown up sleepovers just to catch up. It means stopping at 3 stores to find the right ice cream when words alone aren't enough. 
Showing up means forgiving. 
Showing up means forgetting. 
It means afternoon emails for no reason. 
Showing up means a well timed compliment. It means sincere apologies.  Simply stated though, it means being there, consistently. 
Physically and emotionally. 
Through good and bad. 
And unapologetically loving the crap out of every single person you encounter without expect a single thing in return.

Try it. Show up. Celebrate someone else's life. Someone else's accomplishments. Show up with a balloon. A bouquet of flowers. Reach out, arms wide open and spread love every chance you get. ❤️